Post-Thanksgiving Musings

Me: If we moved to the equator, we would weigh less.

Him: I think the difference could be expressed in scientific notation.

Me: Scientific notation, I will optimistically point out, can also be used to express VERY LARGE numbers.

Him: Either way, we would more than make up for it with increased ingestion of calorific tropical fruit.

Me: Mood killer.

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Maybe

Me: I went to the Gap the other day. I haven’t been there for years. I don’t really like the Gap anymore.

Him: Maybe you’ve outgrown the Gap.

Me: Maybe.

Him: Maybe you’ve gone from hip to fart!

Me: Maybe you could phrase that differently.

Him: Maybe.

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Loves, a sampling


“That’s my favorite picture of you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. And see, I put you before the coffee milk.”

“Before the coffee?”

“The coffee milk.”

“So, not before coffee.”

“This is a photo only of milk.”

“I’m glad that’s clear.”

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Deep thoughts, by Kermit, et al.

Today I decided I really want the Muppets theme song as a ringtone, but the technology gods flaunted Carina and I as we tried to download it onto my phone.

Colin: I can make that for you.

Me: You can MAKE it?

Colin, very serenely: You can, too. You have all the tools you need at your disposal.

Me: What are you, channeling Buddha?

Carina: No, GarageBand!

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Under the back it is

I was freezing, as usual, when we crawled into bed.

Him: Here, put your hand under my back.

Me: I was going to ask you to hold my hand to warm it up.

Him: Putting it under my back is more efficient – greater surface area.

Me: Hm, that hardly seems as meaningful as holding your hand.

Him: You can having meaning or efficiency. Not both.

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I will probably get a lot of inappropriate site hits for this

Me: Let’s watch that movie tonight.

C: Which movie?

Me: The one you said was funny.  Men With Goats.

C: Men WHO STARE AT goats.

Me: Yeah, that one.

C: Men With Goats probably isn’t your kind of movie.

Me: Yeah, it’s probably not funny.

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Things that pass for humor as we approach our sixth anniversary

Me: I’m hungry. Do you think we could have dinner first, and stop by the beach later?

C: Do you want a snack?

Me: I have a granola bar…

C: Well, why don’t you have that? That should hold you over.

Me: Because I’ll get crumbs all over your car?

C: Oh.

Me: Is this where you’re supposed to tell me not to worry about it, that they are only crumbs?

C: Don’t worry about it.

Me: Thanks.

C: You can vacuum them up later.

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